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05.07.2021- A Catch Up Post


Woah woah woah...long time, no post. In fact, I think that this might very well be the longest that I've spent away from blogging in, well...ever. Honestly, the hiatus wasn't intentional at all, but it was something I hadn't realised I'd needed either. Like so many, I've found myself running on fumes for the last eighteen months or so, and taking some time away from the churn of posting on the reg has really helped me to get a bit more time and balance back in my life. And, you know. 
P E R S P E C T I V E. 

So...in the time since I last posted, what's changed? I started a new job in the middle of April which I'm so thrilled to have found and am really enjoying. After the career chaos that was 2020, it's nice to be keeping occupied, and my brain is definitely benefitting from the change...as good as a rest for sure. I've also been volunteering which is something I've always wanted to do- hopefully what I'm helping with will make a real difference in the not too distant future. As well as this, I've honestly been prioritising rest, looking after myself and getting back into the swing of a bit of a more 'normal' routine. It's been so lovely to be able to catch up with friends in person of late too, and I've got my second vaccine booked in for a few weeks time. Phew. I've also been backwards and forwards to and from the hospital with my mum quite a lot over the last month or so, so honestly haven't felt that much like posting. Also- what can I say on these pages that a) doesn't seem hugely trivial? or b) hasn't been said in a thousand different iterations elsewhere?

I've spoken to a lot of people lately about how they're feeling post lockdown three, and the almost universal answer is exhausted. There's definitely something about being at home for such an extended period over the last year and a half which makes me feel like I should be doing more, but honestly I'm one tired tortoise. I think that it's only now that things feel a little bit more 'normal' that we're really being able to reflect on just how upside-down things have been over the last year and a bit, and indeed how they still feel for the most part. Making plans beyond a week at a time feels futile, and if we've learnt anything since March 2020 it's that nothing can be taken for granted. In a sense, that's what I think I mean when I talk about perspective- trying to let go of the things which I can't control and instead focusing on what I can...those day-to-day things which bring me joy and letting the rest take care of itself. 

Those daily joys have recently included things like fresh books arriving on my doorstep. My garden finally blooming after a long old winter. Walking. Seeing friends in person for the first time in forever. Organising my clothes for the 99399th time. My new garden chair. Getting my instant camera out. Watching the sunset. Making (and bopping along to) playlists for lazy weekend mornings and skincare routines for calm weekday evenings. These little things are what I clung to at the outset of the pandemic, and are a constant balm which I don't think I'll ever take for granted again. Learning to live at a different pace has been one of the biggest silver linings of the last year for me, and is something which I don't want to compromise on. Yes, my shoulders still might be crunched up around my ears and my neck might click more times than Chris Whitty's assistant, but my mind is calm, focused and more at ease than it has been in a long long time. 

(Image credit: Sarah Farrell, please do not reproduce without permission.)

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